If you read my ‘About’ page on Substack, it’s full of devil-may-care braggadocio, which I did believe at the time.

Do I need another newsletter? In simple words, nope, but I need to write.

Why do you need to write? Because life is shit, because women are fantastic and more people need to talk about that, because there are too many grifters with a blog, because life is beautiful, because love, disease and music exist in the same plane of existence, because punk was dead and I entered the graveyard with a defibrillator.

What are you going to write about? Short answer: whatever I want Long answer: whatever the hell I want What I’ll assure you of is that you will not learn anything that you can take and apply to your business, product, fund or whatever else you’re shilling. You might learn something about life, something about music, something about me and a little something about you. Your time would be better spent listening to John Coltrane’s A Love Supreme cover-to-cover; but if you still want to spend a few minutes reading what I have to say, go right ahead.

Guess what, it was all bullshit. After the spurt of inspiration and a little guilt (because I bought Ulysses) that pushed me to write the first article, I dropped the ball.

Which is weird because I used to constantly get ideas of articles and essays I want to write about. But after putting myself out there after the first article, I became guarded. I started thinking about what would amaze the fuck out of the reader, or what would make me look like second brightest mind to grow out of a sperm since Einstein. How I need to write a piece that would make the ladies swoon and the men contemplate their own inept lives.

To achieve this feat, I used all my remaining credits on Audible and got multiple audiobooks on writing so that I am inspired as I listen to them during my workout sessions.

A month passed, and I heard a decent amount of gyaan on writing better but the only words I wrote in that time was a few working titles of a couple of articles I thought about.

Then I realised that the problem was that I was not disciplined. Which is why I got a free Audible subscription from some coupon to get David Goggins’ ‘Can’t Hurt Me’. I got so engrossed in that book that I downloaded a version for my Kindle and read it from cover to cover. One thing I definitely learnt (apart from the fact I have to be fucking hard) is that you always have to be ready to lift the boats and logs.

But I hated the restrictiveness of Substack, along with the shitty aesthetic that it offered. I was also learning how to code (which is going as good as writing) and wanted to explore AI, so I revamped my whole personal website.

Now that the aesthetic was what I wanted it to be, I will finally be motivated to write more. Wrong again. I started writing this long ass article about certain experiences in my life and that piece just kept getting longer and longer, so I abandoned it.

Now, months after that first Substack article and revamping my website, here I am starting again. And that’s okay, one of the things I like about myself is that I am highly optimistic, which makes me keep going. So I will keep on keeping one.

I love jazz and I really like some of Miles Davis’ tracks. Some time ago, I came across one of his famous lines that I think about from time to time:

“Man, sometimes it takes you a long time to sound like yourself.”

It’s definitely going to take sometime for me to sound good, but for me to get there I have to start making some noise.